Musings of the Mind in Cairo

I don't have a specific topic in mind this time around, but my fingers have been craving to spill some words on this blog.

Every since I've returned to Cairo, its all seemed like one long hazy dream. The majestic Athans that fill the air with their clamoring grandeur, the omnipresent solar and lunar orbs that continuously illuminate the sky, the intermittent desert breeze that caresses one's face as a relief from the intense humidity, the subdued consciousness of one's self that accompanies fasting and praying have all intensified my connection with His supreme will.

Cairo has made me forget the past and neglect the future. One can only keep track of the present. The soul of this city envelops one so tightly like the Angel Gabriel suffocated the Prophet during the Night of Al-Qadr that one loses one's sense of himself and submits to the universe surrounding him. Cairo has enchanted me with its beauty, its vibrance, and its eternity. Inside the eyes of every Egyptian, I witness the whole experience of humankind... Ever since my return, I have started to question everything I felt was so certain in life. My ambitions, my identity, my beliefs, etc... are all being scrutinized against in the context of being back in Egypt. Its kind of a surreal feeling. My days here are passing rapidly, but time seems to have frozen...

I am constantly processing and evaluating ideas about what my purpose in life is supposed to be. If there's one aspiration I have to gain from Ramadan, it is divine guidance. I am in a bind where I can't make up my mind as to how I should shape my destiny. Ultimately, I know that my mission in life is to alleviate Egypt of its plight and poverty. This is a grandiose goal, but I just pray that life will give me the opportunity to take a shot at it. I know that by continuing my studies in London, I can have a greater impact when it comes to fulfilling this mission, but I have come to question the very notion of going to London. When I witness poverty everywhere around me, I come to question what gives me the lofty opportunity of going to study in one of the world's most expensive cities. Maybe my reluctance to go ahead with the London offer is fear of failure... or may be its a genuine belief that I don't deserve such an opportunity when I see compatriots who can't make end's meet. Whatever feelings that may be stirring in my mind, I just pray the God will make clear what is the straight path for me....