Coming out of the shadows

I’ve been avoiding this blog for quite some time. At first, I thought it was the insecurity of revealing too many of my inner thoughts that led me to revert to my personal diaries. That wasn’t it because I stopped writing in them as well. I then embarked on my biggest writing project yet, writing my first novel. After completing it in one shot in a span of five months, I thought that I had gotten writing out of my system for the time being…

As I embarked on the jet set career of a consultant, I thought that I had put writing behind… that it was something of my past. I would make excuses to myself… the most common one of them being, “I’m too busy… I don’t have time.” But all along, I had felt something missing…. It dawned on me that I had avoided writing all along because I was afraid…I was afraid that what I would pen wouldn’t be as sumptuous as I thought I was I was able of writing. I was like a knight who had fallen off his Arabian stallion, fearing that he would never be able to ride gallantly once more. It was better living the dream of being the self-proclaimed writer without actually being one.

Ever since completing my novel, I had felt like I had achieved the greatest feat of my life. I had squeezed every drop of my mind’s creativity into that work… and I had learned a lot from it. It was like reading a delightful novel where I was making up the storyline as I read along. Just like those novels that stay with us for a lifetime, the ideas, thoughts, and emotions that had gone into my novel have become a part of me. I discovered things I had never known about myself all along.

This is why I return to this blog, and this is why I return to writing. Writing gives my life meaning…it put my jumbled and incomprehensible thoughts into lucid perspective and gives me blissful peace of mind.

This is not one of my apologetic “back to writing” posts… after depriving myself of writing for so long, I have realized the value it has given me. I have also realized the wisdom behind the Hippocrates’ words when he said, “That which if used develops, and that which if not used wastes away.” I have been blessed with my intellect… actually I believe we have all been blessed with minds of the same capabilities. He who is blessed is the one who realizes the magnificence and brilliance of what God has given him and works hard to mold something beautiful with it. Creating beauty with my words is one of the ways I glorify God. I write to show that world that what I am God’s creation and my words are his inspiration.

This is what I return to this blog. Because I know that the more I practice with my God-given abilities, the better I get at writing and the more inspiration will descend upon me. I come out of the shadows for the first time by making this blog known to my friends and acquaintances. I want to share with them my passion. I might inspire someone with an idea or two with my writing…

But there is also a very selfish motive behind my return… it is because I never want to give up on my dream of becoming a writer someday. I pray that I will never write for riches or fame, or any other ulterior motive for that matter. I pray that my writing will always be genuine and sincere. I pray that my writing could give hope and solace to others…

My first novel may never become published…and if that is the case…well, and then I’m grateful that God had given me the opportunity to have such a great learning experience. I am glad that He is giving me a sign that I should work harder on my next novel. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life is that preparation is key. Whether its preparation for an exam, preparation for an interview, and preparation for war… victors are those who prepare. So in my case, all the writing I have done hitherto may very well be a means of preparation… for I know that the day will present itself when I will be given the opportunity to produce brilliant works with my words…

Until then, I will keep returning to this blog to prepare…